Mount Satan

WALNUT CREEK, Calif. – A deeply religious Oakley, Calif., man has petitioned the federal government to rename Mount Diablo, calling the current name a profane salute to Satan.

In Art Mijares’ application to the U.S. Board on Geographic Names, the first for this peak, he suggests naming it “Mount Kawukum,” a word he believes has American Indian roots.

“Words have power and when you start mentioning words that come from the dark side, evil thrives,” said Mijares.

“When I take boys camping on the mountain – I don’t even like to say its name – I have to explain what the name means. Why should we have a main feature of our community that celebrates the devil?”

Mijares won’t have to face down Lucifer to prevail: He just has to persuade the federal government, the state of California and the Bay Area.

It might be easier to order a glass of ice water in hell.

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