Make the World a Better Place

Going to a little Southern Baptist college in the 80’s located in the buckle of the Bible belt presented some interesting situations. None more interesting than Richard.

Richard was what we called a “scripture-spouter”. Regardless of what was being discussed or what was being said, whenever Richard involved himself in the conversation, he always quoted Scripture – King James Version no less.

Conversations with Richard sounded a little like this:

PERSON A: “Richard, how’s it going?”

RICHARD: “Oh, I’ve had a rough day… but like the Bible says, ‘all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.'”

PERSON A: “Well man, I hope things get better for you”

RICHARD: “Whether it does or not, ‘This is the day which the LORD hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it.'”

So that’s the way it was with Richard. He was pretty harmless, but at the same time pretty obnoxious. The frustration was that you could never get him to have a normal conversation about anything… he always used Scripture references.

One day, it became very clear that Richard was in a league by himself.

While gathering for the start of class one day, we were all sitting around talking about stuff, and Richard walks in sporting a brand new haircut. One of the girls in the class said, “Hey Richard, nice haircut.”

To which Richard replied (in his strong southern accent and always pious attitude), “Whatcha see is Jesus!”

And at that point, in unison, everyone that witnessed it laughed our asses off. To this day that story lives on in infamy as one of my favorite Stupid Church People moments of all time. For years it’s been an inside joke. Now I hope to share it with you, my friends, as something we can share together.

I regret laughing at Richard that day and not gently trying to lead him to a better way. But I myself was lost and couldn’t completely see how blind my eyes were to my own SCPness. Today I am a different man.

Here at SCP, we are making the world a better place by seeking to save one Stupid Church Person at a time.

Leave no Richard behind.

20 thoughts on “Make the World a Better Place”

  1. When people actually start reading scripture and seeking Him. That’s when it’ll end. Instead of following every little guy who makes promises for a new way of seeing christianity.

  2. A buddy of mine went to Pensacola Christian College in Florida. They were not allowed to touch the opposite sex (many seniors were married and pregnant a few months after college graduation) and men had to wear shirts and ties. He and some friends would sneak off campus, get changed in a mcdonalds bathroom and give their clothes to the guy behind the counter to watch it for a few extra bucks. Then they’d go to a steak house.

  3. I bet everyone knows a Richard. So I ran into another stupid church person. When will the madness end? Check out my blog for the story.

  4. damn it! God wanted dorsey to tell that joke, obviously. I tried THREE times to post “SCP’s can certainly be Dicks . . .” but kept getting denied.

  5. My wife’s cousin is a “God’s will” type of SCP.He’ll go on and on like “well, we’re praying about it, really seeking God’s direction in this decision. We want to make sure that our lives align totally with his will for us. To God alone be the glory.”To which I reply “dude, I just asked if you wanted a Coke or a Sprite.”

  6. Ditto what Zeke said. I find myself wanting to talk about Jesus but afraid to sound “typical” because typical is not good. I gotta get over that.

  7. Your fear to say something “typical” is well warrented. Don’t get over it, just say something authentic and meaningful.

  8. I know Richard very well because he is also my mum! I love my mum incredibly and know that I have received an incredible spiritual inheritance from her … however our conversations on the phone are typically as irritating and as demoralising as those with Richard :o( Every question – including “how are you” – has a ‘correct’ spiritual answer. She never tells you the truth because that is negative confession. Very sad.However (there’s always a however!), whilst I might cringe at my mums attempts to bring the Lord into every topic of conversation I’m woefully aware of my own embarresment at even mentioning Him at all. And I think I know which causes Him the most grief.

  9. Shieldsy, it may be that some of that embarassment has been because of how evangelical fundamentalism and the weird subculture that it’s spawned has made Christianity (as opposed to Jesus) a loaded term. The mere mention of Christianity can bring up a lot of distasteful experiences for people, many of whom have friends and relatives like your mum who you often can’t have a sane conversation with.Once you feel like you don’t have to defend churchy stupidity or to participate in the subculture, then it’s easier to talk about Jesus in ways that people can relate to. At least for me it is.

  10. < HREF="" REL="nofollow">here’s the perfect shirt for the SCP site<>

  11. After thinking about this for a while, it amazes me how much emphasis we tend to put on the outward… Jesus is all about the heart of man. Yet, we ignore it, every chance we get, so we can refine our outward spirituality.I’m in a discussion over at the < HREF="" REL="nofollow">Yaconelli<> blog, talking about cursing/drinking and a lot of other outward actions…I wonder sometimes why christians feel such a need to focus on exteriors. They advertise with their t-shirts and condemn others who don’t… It’s like a damn membership. (Of course WE sometimes do it in reverse, don’t we???)I guess it goes back to that scripture [glasses ready], <>man looks on the outside, but God looks on the heart<>.Maybe being more like God or more “Christ-like” is not to act holier, but to begin to take time to view people’s hearts instead of just their/our actions.

  12. “sin in the camp” is what makes camping fun…Seriously though, I think this is where Steve & Josh are missing the boat. If we had some SCP hats to go with our “Religion Kills” tshirts, we could be ‘Dicks in Reverse’ (wait! wouldn’t that just make us a bunch of… oh never mind!)

  13. Every church has to have one. My old church had one guy that–I shite you not–wore a Jesus baseball cap, a Jesus t-shirt or sweater, Jesus shoelaces and a big ole Jesus belt buckle. Odds on he wore Jesus underoos too.Every prayer meeting he kept complaining about “sin in the camp” holding back the church. Now that I’m gone, I wonder if he still says that…

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