By Jeff Marshall
In my opinion, stupidchurchpeople IS a church… SCPC???
I know… I know… no one wants to hear such a thing, but it’s true.
This is the place that the disenfranchised come to “forsake not the assembling of themselves together”. We sit around, drinking gay coffee, discussing Pastor Steve’s last sermon, and wondering how he lives in that nice house with the great view, drives a BMW and vacations in Maui, even though he never receives an offering!!!
Some services, youth-Pastor Josh speaks. These are usually the funnier, more lighthearted sermons. We always get a good laugh! And if they DID receive offerings, we’d give more on those days, because he uses more colorful language in expressing his beliefs.
Of course, if anyone gets out of hand, we have a special treat for them… the High Priestess over La Iglesia Del Burrito Santo also serves as head-usher at SCPC. She and her husband, who oddly wears a gymbag for a hat, will chew your ass if you’re just here to start trouble.
Of course, dissenters are welcome and are always engaged in lively, and sometimes life-threatening debate. Ministers like Dorsey and Zeke are always willing to assist in the pointing out of stupidity among the stupid. We find this is healthy for church growth.
One of the highlights of the year is communion. Where all the church members gather around, listen to a podcast, eat burritos and drink from the beer-fountain of life. Although these podcast/communion moments do not happen as often as usual, they are always looked forward to.
Recently, SCPC has undergone tremendous growth. An insurgent group of REALLY stupid followers have frequented the facility. As a result, much like Jabez, the Lord has enlarged our borders and with a couple of 100+ comment-posts on the site, made SCPC the worlds first mega-blog-church.
With this new growth comes a new and improved coffee bar, a mini-mall, and a non-christian bookstore, all run by our Director of Public Relations, JimmyBob.
Come grow with us!
We’re stupid and we all drink beer…
We love all people straight or queer…
Feel free to cuss here, without fear…
You need relief? Come worship here…