Halloween is a stupid holiday. Not for all of the reasons that church people hate Halloween, it being “Satan’s Holiday” and all. I could care less about that. I hate Halloween because it just seems like a bogus, stupid and irresponsible holiday. Here are some reasons I hate Halloween.
1) It’s just a weird holiday when you think about it. Here we are as a nation celebrating death and darkness. Yeah, I know you can dress up in “positive costumes” all you want, but the basis behind Halloween is death, dead and dying people. Yes, we are celebrating the dead. Gotta love that.
2) Adults trying to take over Halloween as a chance to party and scare the shit out of people, mainly little kids. Hey, listen you attention-seeking assholes, if Halloween is for anyone, it’s for kids. And I don’t care who you are, if I am walking my six-year old around and you jump out of a bush to scare him (or me for that matter) I will beat the crap out of you. Two years ago we had a guy in our neighborhood that hid in a bush and would reach and grab you from behind just as you went to get some of the candy on his porch. What a dickhead.
3) Adults trying to make Halloween sexy and adult-oriented even around little kids. Last year we had one of our neighbors boyfriends (he is a 45 year old man) dress up as Dracula (I think) and then he had handcuffs on his belt and he was carrying a riding crop. Yeah… real kid friendly… a sadomasochistic vampire. Gotta love it! Then you have some women dressing as a sexy Minnie Mouse or Snow White and then walking their kids around. Nothing says its a kid holiday like low-cut outfits and fishnet stockings with your booty hanging out. (Not that I personally have anything against that around me… but just not around the kids.)
4) Finally, the church has to try and use Halloween as a way to reach people. The church down the street tonight will host “The Judgement House”. It’s encouraging the community to come out and discover their final destination. Now that sounds inviting. The opposite alternative is the now entrenched idea of a Harvest Celebration. You can call this “Halloween Light”. You still get the costumes (positive ones only please) and the candy, but none of the scare. The only positive about these events is the occasional dunk tank where you get to drop the senior pastor into a tank of freezing water (sign me up three times for that one).
So overall, I hate Halloween. Of all the “holidays” it is my least favorite. However, Christmas is gaining ground to make it a close second.
And I’m going… seriously!
Tonight I went out with friends from work. And in the end, as I drove home, what I realized is that I really just care way too much about people.
As I sat, and talked and listened and learned about people, I found myself wanting to reach out, wanting to know more about them and what makes them tick, or seeing twinges of sadness in their voice and wanting to make them happy. I would observe them from across the tables and think “how are they really doing”. Beyond all the alcohol induced laughter, when these folks get home at night are they really and truly happy.
And with this, please try and enjoy your weekend…. if you can get this damn song out of your head after you watch it!
The picture on the right is a screen capture from a video I saw today featuring a rather spectacular motorcycle crash. It’s from one of those X-Games competitions where these ballsy guys jump from these enormous ramps vaulting themselves 50 feet into the air and along the way perform flips and tricks that seem to defy gravity. However, the young man in this picture is about to find out that gravity is very, very real.
If you watch the video you will hear the commentators describe how this stunt took a dangerous turn. They show in slow motion that the rider had a moment of indecision in the middle of the trick. As he launches himself in the air, he is prepared to do one trick (a superman, which entails grabbing the seat of the motorcycle while stretching out behind) but then in a moment of doubt he tries to regrab the handlebars but can’t reach them. At that point you can see him stretch and try to grab the seat again but by that time the bike was out of reach. In that very moment, you can almost observe this young man seriously try his last and only option – learning how to fly.
But fly he doesn’t, and in the end gravity takes it’s toll on his body as he comes crashing to the ground. Fortunately for him the end result was reportedly only a broken femur.
Any way you look at it, indecision is a bummer. Make a decision one way or the other, but if you hesitate, the choice may be made for you. Either way you slice it, you have to live with the consequences. And you can’t expect a miracle to bail you out.
The next two or three posts will be change of pace posts…. nothing too serious. Just some short observations.
OK, so here’s the first one.
Am I becoming that old guy that thinks he’s funny but he’s not?
That’s my fear. You know the guy that says a joke in the midst of a group of friends or co-workers and noone laughs, so he tells it again, and no one laughs the second time.
God that sucks.
Help me Jesus.