I Hate Halloween.

Halloween is a stupid holiday. Not for all of the reasons that church people hate Halloween, it being “Satan’s Holiday” and all. I could care less about that. I hate Halloween because it just seems like a bogus, stupid and irresponsible holiday. Here are some reasons I hate Halloween.

1) It’s just a weird holiday when you think about it. Here we are as a nation celebrating death and darkness. Yeah, I know you can dress up in “positive costumes” all you want, but the basis behind Halloween is death, dead and dying people. Yes, we are celebrating the dead. Gotta love that.

2) Adults trying to take over Halloween as a chance to party and scare the shit out of people, mainly little kids. Hey, listen you attention-seeking assholes, if Halloween is for anyone, it’s for kids. And I don’t care who you are, if I am walking my six-year old around and you jump out of a bush to scare him (or me for that matter) I will beat the crap out of you. Two years ago we had a guy in our neighborhood that hid in a bush and would reach and grab you from behind just as you went to get some of the candy on his porch. What a dickhead.

3) Adults trying to make Halloween sexy and adult-oriented even around little kids. Last year we had one of our neighbors boyfriends (he is a 45 year old man) dress up as Dracula (I think) and then he had handcuffs on his belt and he was carrying a riding crop. Yeah… real kid friendly… a sadomasochistic vampire. Gotta love it! Then you have some women dressing as a sexy Minnie Mouse or Snow White and then walking their kids around. Nothing says its a kid holiday like low-cut outfits and fishnet stockings with your booty hanging out. (Not that I personally have anything against that around me… but just not around the kids.)

4) Finally, the church has to try and use Halloween as a way to reach people. The church down the street tonight will host “The Judgement House”. It’s encouraging the community to come out and discover their final destination. Now that sounds inviting. The opposite alternative is the now entrenched idea of a Harvest Celebration. You can call this “Halloween Light”. You still get the costumes (positive ones only please) and the candy, but none of the scare. The only positive about these events is the occasional dunk tank where you get to drop the senior pastor into a tank of freezing water (sign me up three times for that one).

So overall, I hate Halloween. Of all the “holidays” it is my least favorite. However, Christmas is gaining ground to make it a close second.

35 thoughts on “I Hate Halloween.”

  1. I like Halloween. I concede all your points, but that doesn’t stop it from being fun.Fact is, being scared satisfies something deep inside every person. We <>like<> being scared, when we know we aren’t really in any danger.

  2. also, Christians shouldn’t concern themselves with social regulations. If one cannot stay away from town and PTA meetings, or politics, he should be careful to leave the name of Christ out of his agenda.

  3. I like Halloween and so does my daughter. We have a big party where the parents get a little liquored up and take the kids out trick or treating…it’s fun. What a bunch of wet blankets around here.

  4. I think it was a good movie and if you take it as fiction, its OK. If you take it seriously, I think there could be a problem, but its a movie/book and a damn good movie too.In the Harry Potter sense, wizardry is not more real than Darth Vader.

  5. It isn’t just the evangelical SCP who hate halloween (…at least im my experience in this little corner of the UK). There is a significant backlash against it from all quarters.From what I’ve observed about Halloween in the states it does seem to have a lot more of a ‘fun’ element to it. But here, parents dress their children in hideous costumes and say “don’t they look cute” (no, they look sinister & evil). Windows sometimes get pelted with eggs if occupiers don’t oblige with a ‘treat’ or even have fireworks thrown at them (Halloween is shortly follwed by “Guy Fawkes Night” here).There is an increase in occult activity (it is still an actively observed Pagan holiday, unlike the other ‘Christianised’ ones), and a significant number of the children I know and work with are drawn into ‘dabbling’ with Ouija boards, seances, spells, tarot etc.The whole idea of focussing on death, fear & the occult is surely something that should concern not just the evangelical SCP brigade; And as for dressing up your children to look horrifying and sending them out begging with an overtone of intimidation. Sorry, I cannot see any redeeming features in how halloween is marketed or practiced – certainly as it has evolved here in the UK.The sad thing is, it is the only time of the year when people get on the street and knock on their neighbours doors … shame it’s to beg from them.My fight-back turns all that on it’s head and it’s going down a storm.

  6. <>The whole idea of focussing on death, fear & the occult is surely something that should concern not just the evangelical SCP brigade; And as for dressing up your children to look horrifying and sending them out begging with an overtone of intimidation. <>oh yea I”m sure all of our kids will now grow up to be begging zombies with a twisted fascination with black magic. It’s a Holiday for kids. relaaaaaax.

  7. <>so what’s wrong with it being a pagan holiday?<>In my mind, absolutely nothing.What <>is<> wrong, however, is that rather than using that knowledge to their advantage, some Christians will snub Halloween because of that; or–in the cases of Easter and Christmas (both of which also have Pagan origins…hell, Christmas wasn’t originally celebrated on December 25th, either!)–they’ll completely ignore it, and indoctrinate their kids with the sanitized versions of all of them. (Consider this my twisted way of saying I agree with The Peteโ„ข.)

  8. <>Who’d have thought that having “Spells Pages” and Psychic readings in children’s magazines would have ever been acceptable a generation ago?<>I dunno. Anyone with half a brain living in the late 60s early 70s? When the baby boomers hand their already arrogant children the spoils of a good economy? I think we all know what direction this country has been going for quite some time. I just don’t think the Holiday, dressing up like ghosts, or doing a faux psychic reading are even remotely the root or stem of the problem. (faux psychic reading, haha)I’m also no stranger to gradation. Trust me. I dressed up as Dracula at age 10. Now I look at a Tarot card, the black bahama mama, and any horoscope with an unapologetic “that shit is stupid” smirk. Any Joe shmoe with a menial foundation in the teachings of Christ can see that Halloween means little more than forking out 50 extra bucks and sacrificing 3 hours of your schedule to some much needed exercise with your obsessively gleeful kid. Furthermore, if a parent willfully or even neglectfully lets their youngins read fortunes, do you still think the magazines are the problem? Halloween can be construed like anything else, and if at the end of the day Halloween shakes someone’s moral resolve, I think the house was built on the sand in Hurricane country. And how many of us actually remember Halloween? Aside from pleasant childhood memories, I remember one smart ass teenager scaring the crap out of me. He then proceeded to hand me a full bag of Hershey kisses. Only fond memories here. WWJD? I think Jesus would host a haunted house and perform the chainsaw gig at the end. imho.

  9. so what’s wrong with it being a pagan holiday? why not use it as an educational holiday and learn about a different understanding of it every year. Christmas started as a pagan holiday (the Roman celebration of Saturn). as well as easter (you know the eggs are about fertility, right?). the catholics are the ones to thank for the first version of “harvest festival”, by the way, as well as all of the other “sanatizations” of the holidays.

  10. Favorite Holiday:Christmas—Multiple days off work, plenty of food, a liscense to lay around the house in your PJs…what else can you ask for. Besides, I get to play with the kid and cook all day…it’s simply the best.Steve, I can see your point about Thanksgiving, much less commercialism. I’d say that Thanksgiving is a close second to me. It would take Christmas if it were longer.

  11. <>“oh yea I”m sure all of our kids will now grow up to be begging zombies with a twisted fascination with black magic”<>Great use of hyperbole Nugget, but also an old & tired line of argument against any form of social regulation.It’s called a process of normalisation. Very few people ever go from complete sobriety to crack addiction. Most people don’t go from chastity to casual promiscuity. Or from being peacable to being homicidal, etc. However, with time, it is possible to move people(s) from one ‘level’ up to the next quite insidiously.Who’d have thought that having “Spells Pages” and Psychic readings in children’s magazines would have ever been acceptable a generation ago?

  12. Did you notice why I said I hated Halloween?? None of it had anything to do with liquor or the kids. Party on Scott. Last night we took the kids out, noone jumped out from a bush, no sadomasochistic vampires, no sexy nurse outfits from the women… and I even saw a Saddleback pastor going door to door behind us. We got more candy than we know what to do with so life isn’t all bad.Then after, I went and drank some margies at a local cantina, and checked out a few of those very creative Halloween costumes on the ladies (a cute little GI Jane number and a tempting little “puddy tat”). Maybe Halloween isn’t so bad after all…. naaaaaawwww I still hate it.

  13. I agree. Halloween sucks. But what sucks even more is Harvest Parties. Lets sanitize it and make it Christian. Or worse, lets call it Harvest when there is a holidy in the old testament called the Feast of Harvest. Better known as Pentecost. I dont know. Not gonna be legalistic, but I think it cannot be good to mix those two up. Its an abomination. I just been dying to use the word abomination since I listened to you guys talk with Shirley “the faginator” Phelps.

  14. Thanksgiving is almost as good as Halloween. I guess if Reese’s Peanut Butter Pumpkins had tryptophan, we’d be onto something.Thanksgiving does have more heritage, though. I mean, being thankful for the way we duped the native Americans into having a big meal, just before we began enslaving them and stealing their land is truly a wonderful time.jk ๐Ÿ™‚

  15. Steve,I made my obligatroy Halloween post over at my blog today too. However, I focused on the hypocrisy of the church today, trying to sanitize a Pagan holiday and turn it into something it was never supposed to be. The bottom line for me is this, if you want to celebrate Halloween go ahead. I celebrate it every year, do the whole costume thing and all that, you’ve seen some of my handiwork from those pics I sent you for the SCP costume contest last year.What amazes me, is that there is a legitiamte Christian holiday that falls on October 31st every year, that just gets passed over by most Christians AND the church itself! Today, is Reformation Day! On this day in 1517, Martin Luther a lowly monk nailed his 95 Theses to the door of the church in Wittenberg, Germany, thus sparking the Reformation Movement. So instead of a Harvest Festival, we could have Reformation Day parties. We could dress up as our favorite historical characters from that period and have fun and candy and everything else, but at least we’d be staying true to our roots and being Christians on that day. It’s much more favorable to me to do that than to hijack a Pagan holiday and use it as an evangelism and witnessing tool, to tell all those Pagans and other non-believers how they’re going to hell if they don’t accept Jesus! I mean how rude! To hijack another religion’s holiday in an attempt to get them to convert to our own. What if the satanists tried to convert us on Easter? How would we feel about that?

  16. For me, the best holiday is Martin Luther King Day.I am usually amused by this holiday. All my African-American friends get the day off, while those of us who are pigmentally-challenged get an extra “personal” day to be taken at our leisure.What’s that about? It’s always an either/or with us: either black OR white at MLK day; either Easter Bunny OR Jesus at Easter; either demon-possession OR sugar-diabetes at Halloween; either liberal self-loathing OR feigned conservative patriotism on July 4th; either Washington OR Lincoln on Prez Day; either Kwanzaa, Chanukkah OR X-Mas in December; either homo OR hetero at VDay.Can’t we all just get along?!?

  17. Speaking of scary-ass stuff, did anyone hear about evangelical leader, < HREF="http://gredaadt.blogspot.com/2006/11/what-dumbass.html" REL="nofollow">Ted Haggard<> today?No halloween demon could ever be this scary!Geez!

  18. Yes Zec.. this is true. In all reality, Luther created Stupid Church People Day on Oct 31, 1517 – becuase in effect that is what he called them… and we should now adopt it as our own day.Hence, from this day forward, Oct 31 shall be known throughout the land as Stupid Church People Day.So it is written, so shall it be done

  19. “Hence, from this day forward, Oct 31 shall be known throughout the land as Stupid Church People Day.”Okay Steve, but can we try and keep the casualties under 100,000? Ya know that whole Reformation thing didn’t go all that smoothly. ๐Ÿ˜‰

  20. No I get ya gredaadt…. most definitely you are right about the roots of Thanksgiving… but is that what we really focus on at Thanksgiving now? Again that’s the origin of Thanksgiving in America I guess…. but not at my house. Thanksgiving is a good Holiday for me (in my opinion) because is it less commercialized than the others, it tends to focus on family gathering around the table to share the meal, discussing things we are truly thankful for… I don’t feel the pressure to give or get or do (except make the meal as I did last year) – but again that was fun as a project we worked on together.It is truly a personal and subjective thing… as was my post. I think Halloween sucks (for the reasons stated)… Christmas stresses me out as a whole season and overcommercialized build-up… but on Thanksgiving… I just enjoy that time the best for being with my family (past and present) as opposed to the others.

  21. I’m a pretty staunch pro-American advocate on most issues (…and that seems to be an increasingly risky standpoint nowadays). But got to say that the import of American style Halloween ‘celebrations’ has got to be one of the worst things you’ve ever inflicted on us.Whatever you say, retailers are much better at spotting an ‘evagagelism’ opportunity than most Christians are. Maybe only 5 years ago, Halloween junk only used to occupy a few retail shelves, now there’s whole aisles of it.I’ve started fighting back … and although it probably qualifies me as a bona-fida SCP, it’s actually one of the most effective and well received things I’ve ever done.

  22. 1) Yep, I hear ya.2) I don’t know any grown-ups like that, personally. Hell, I <>am<> a grown-up and wouldn’t do that (not deliberately, anyway)!3) Yeeeesh!4) Oh, lawd, can I relate.A church in a nearby town, for two years, did a thing called “Judgement Night” for Halloween. I never went to it either year; but it was, pretty much, an outreach thing to get people to convert to Christianity. The church I attended as a little girl had “Hallelujah Night” every year at that time. Kids could dress up as Bible characters, receive candy, watch a video. The church I attend now has done something similar in the past.I was also not allowed to go trick-or-treating as a young’un (for all those reasons stated…it being “the devil’s holiday” and all that); and, about a decade or so ago (maybe even longer than that), my parents stopped welcoming trick-or-treaters.Generally, though, I’ve become “meh” about Halloween as the years have worn on. I don’t know what I’ll do if I ever have kids.On that note, I hope your Halloween, Samhain, and/or Reformation Day was fantastic; and I hope your All Saint’s Day (November 1) kicks arse, too.

  23. Oh yeah… I failed to mention the entire “retail” aspect of EVERY FREAKIN HOLIDAY known to man… I am buying gifts every month of the year (or made to feel guilty for not doing so). No sheildsy, use any means possible to stop the madness… and don’t be surprised if next year I don’t invoke the “this is Satan’s holiday kids and as a Christian we can’t go trick or treating this year. We don’t want to give the devil a foothold now do we” line of conservative Christian crap in my own house. A little SCP never hurt anyone…. especially for a good cause.Hey, hold onto your hats, after the Halloween decoration go down the Christmas ones go up… bah-humbug

  24. What’s really funny, is that in Germany, on this day, the German’s actually celebrate Martin Luther Day. It’s called Martin Luther Signing, and the kids go from house to house, with NO costume on, with large bags singin “A Mighty Fortress”. Having experiences this myself, it is not as joyess or easy as you might think. Most houses are inhabited by bitter old germanic grandmothers, who get their kicks from making us sing all SEVEN VERSES–in four part harmony!!!I gotta hand it to the German’s though… way to hang on the the state church. None of this touchy-feely liberal alter-calling crap. Let the government run things.Non-denominational my ASS, take that modern Christian church!!!– Martin Luther for President 2008!

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