I went to church a couple of Sundays back while visiting my friends from Ping Etcetera.
Sharon and Erik (pictured with me to the right) go to a charismatic Episcopalian church and they invited me to come with them. As I wrote in my previous post, I am not sure why the experience was enjoyable. I do not think I will ever know for certain, since there were so many factors built into it, but I did enjoy my time at the church there.
It was an emotional service for me. They sang some of the old songs that took me back a few years to songs of my young adulthood. Songs like, “Open the Eyes of My Heart” and “As the Deer”… these songs pulled on my shredded heart-strings and brought back the feelings of the “good ole’ days”.
As I related to Sharon later that day, the emotions I felt during this time were mixed. On one hand I wanted to get up and walk out. On the other, I wanted to fall on my face and cry. Fortunately for everyone involved, I took neither course of action. I did cry though as I sat there and mouthed the words of the songs, and while reading the liturgy for that day.
It’s easy for some to attribute these emotions or feelings as being from God. Maybe some will say that what I experienced was God actually touching my heart, letting me know he was there. At times that’s even what I wondered… and I haven’t closed the door to that possibility.
Some have mentioned that one reason I might have enjoyed church was being with people I enjoyed. Yes, being with Sharon and Erik (and Erik’s wife and kids) was a part of what made the whole thing special. These are some people that have been an important part of the past two years of my life, and to finally meet them and hang out made it not just a good Sunday, but also weekend. And church was a culmination of a great weekend. So yes, that was probably a big part.
Whether it was the people I was around, just having not been to church in awhile, hearing the old songs, or God actually talking to me… I do not know. Figuring it out isn’t important. Trying to recreate it won’t happen either. I just simply enjoyed it for whatever reason.