I was a Stupid Church Person

I was a Stupid Church Person.

I was a Stupid Pastor.

I would get up and go to church each and every Sunday, thinking that God would use me to share the answers for people’s pain. Arrogantly I thought that the service planned with it’s music and message would actually make a difference in people’s lives. It’s as if I imagined that it was during that one hour each week where life change occurred. How stupid of me.

I sit here tonight and think of those hours spent in church and realize that nothing… NOT ONE THING I ever taught or learned in church has prepared me for today. I don’t remember any of the messages I heard or preached.

Then why do we do it. What’s the point?

Life change happens out here in the real world. Mainly, what I have learned, is that it happens through pain. Tonight I am writing from a place of pain again. I can’t understand why that pain has returned, but I welcome it. I know that the pain is where the learning takes place. It’s where I am alive, it’s where I am in touch with what I really need, it’s where things seem to matter.

Laughter, smiles, happiness and joy are only appreciated in the shadow of our painful memories. Don’t run from the pain, embrace it. It’s here with you now to teach you lessons you can’t learn anywhere else.